Funky Monkey Oatmeal Muffins

I've been experimenting a lot lately with some of the more common gluten free flour substitutes. I'm still not one of those bakers with all sorts of weirdy flours laying around the house, but I usually have one or two gluten free varieties on hand, whether it be almond meal, coconut flour, or a big jar of oats.

Gluten free flours do tend to be on the pricier side, and since I'm a wheat lovin' girl without any intolerances or allergies, (except for a blue food coloring intolerance. It makes my tummy unhappy. Which makes it very difficult when I want to make something Tardis blue. But I digress...) it's not really worth it for me to stock a whole mess of flours that I'd rarely use and wouldn't even begin to know how to start.

However, that big jar o' oats is inexpensive, gluten free, (just make sure to use certified gluten free if you have an intolerance or are baking for someone who does) happens to be a healthy whole grain, and when ground up, usually works pretty well as a flour substitute.

Now, my food processor is small and inexpensive, and I'm not all that chuffed about getting a fine grind anyway, so my muffins had a distinct oatmeal-y texture. I actually liked them better after they sat for a while. They set up a little bit more, the oatmeal texture kind of mellowed a bit, and the different flavors were more noticeable. And you can't go wrong with the combination of bananas and chocolate hazelnut spread. I mean, come on now. That's some good stuff.

I also added chocolate chips because, duh, chocolate, but they're actually not necessary. And they're actually pretty good for you. Not totally good for you, but no butter, low in sugar, only whole grains, includes fruit. When I plugged them into my handy dandy calorie calculator, I got about 136 calories per muffin without the chocolate chips. (Again, I wouldn't take that as gospel, but it's a good point of reference.) (If you're wondering, the calorie calculator I like to use is here.)

Healthy, gluten free muffins, using an inexpensive wheat flour substitute, chock full of bananas and chocolate hazelnutty goodness? I'm sold.

Funky Monkey Oatmeal Muffins

Yield: 12 muffins

Ingredients

2 eggs

½ tsp. salt

¼ cup packed brown sugar

2 small ripe bananas, mashed

⅓ cup chocolate hazelnut spread (Nutella, or I used Rigoni di Asiago's Nocciolata spread)

1 tsp. vanilla extract

2½ cups oat flour*
1½ tsp. baking powder
½ cup chocolate chips (optional)

Directions
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. In a large mixing bowl, whisk together the eggs and salt until light and foamy. Mix in the brown sugar until well dissolved. Add the bananas, chocolate hazelnut spread, and vanilla extract and mix until well incorporated. Fold in the oat flour, baking powder, and chocolate chips, if using.

Line a muffin tin with 12 paper liners and divide the batter equally between each. Bake 18-20 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out mostly clean. Allow to cool completely on wire racks before serving.

*To make oat flour, just pulse uncooked oats in a food processor until it looks like flour. The finer the grind, the less of an oaty texture for the muffin. Make sure to use certified gluten free oats if that's an issue.

Recipe by Kim

Nutella Stuffed Sweet Buns

One thing about being the only person to answer the main line for an international company is that you learn very quickly just how little people think before they speak.

I can't tell you how many times I've had people call in and ask for Joe. That's it. "Can I speak to Joe?" Because it's not like there might be more than one guy named Joe or anything.

My favorite is one time I got the reverse of that. Someone asked to speak to Mr. Smith. I applaud your effort sir, but I'm still gonna need a little more information.

I had one person call and ask, "Can I speak to someone?" I'm sure you can. Do you have an idea who you would like to speak to, or should I just start alphabetically?

Or when someone said, "I need to be transferred to someone who can open a document." Umm, I'm pretty sure that's everyone in the building. You want to try something a little more specific?

Visitors tend to be a little better, but I had one that just kind of came up to the desk and stared at me. I smiled, said good morning, she said hi back, and then stared. After an uncomfortable few seconds, she said, "So what do I do?" I don't know. Who are you and why are you here?

Or the visitor that I asked to sign in. They pointed to the sign in book- there's nothing else around that they could possibly use to sign in-, and asked, "in here?" No, not at all. I want you to carve your name into the desk. I like a permanent record.

It's like these people don't realize that I can't read their minds. You guys, I know I'm good, but I'm not that good. So, pro-tip: think about exactly what you want to ask the operator before calling, because she can't read your mind. Also, be as succinct as possible. If I need more information, I'll ask you for it. If not, you're just tying up my phone line. I've had people give me job id's, employee id's, tell me about conferences across the country, tell me how much their medications cost and what they're on, I even had one person give me a social security number. I can do nothing with this information. Except maybe commit identity theft. Not that I would, I feel should clarify, but you really shouldn't just give random people your social security number. Even if that random person is me.

So whenever you're about to call a corporation, take a deep breath and a moment to gather your thoughts before dialing. And you know what, eat one of these Nutella stuffed sweet buns to put yourself in a good mood, too. Because you can't be pissy when you have a belly full of homemade sweet dough and chocolate hazelnutty goodness. That's just science.

As yeast dough goes, these suckers are surprisingly quick and easy. Not quick like 10 minutes quick- dude, it's still yeast dough- but minimal hands on time, no electric mixer needed, and just under 2 hours for combined rising/resting times. Then you roll it up with some Nutella, brush them with some melted butter, sprinkle with some raw sugar, follow up with a quick trip in the oven, and you are in sweet dough/Nutella heaven

These buns are best served fresh and still warm from the oven. The sweet dough is light and airy, and the Nutella is melty and gooey, and it will make you forget all your troubles. Like why you even picked up that phone in the first place.

Nutella Stuffed Sweet Buns
Yield: 10 buns

Ingredients
3 to 3½ cups flour
3 tbsp. granulated sugar
1 pkg. active dry yeast
1 tsp. salt
1 cup milk
¼ cup unsalted butter, divided
1 egg, lightly beaten
Approx. 5 tbsp. Nutella (chocolate hazelnut spread)
1 tbsp. raw or decorating sugar

Directions
In a large mixing bowl, mix together 3 cups flour, granulated sugar, yeast, and salt. In a small saucepan over low heat (or in the microwave) heat the milk and 3 tbsp. butter together until the microwave, or in a saucepan over low heat, heat the milk and butter until very warm, 110°-120°F (butter does not have to melt completely). Gradually stir the milk mixture and egg into the dry ingredients to form a soft dough. If the dough is too sticky, add the remaining 1/2 cup flour.

Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured surface, and knead gently 8-10 minutes, until the dough is smooth and elastic, adding flour as necessary to prevent sticking. Shape dough into a ball, and place in a lightly oiled bowl, turning the dough to coat with oil. Cover and let rise about 1 hour, or until doubled.

Lightly spray a rimmed baking sheet with non-stick cooking spray. Punch down the dough and knead gently on a lightly floured surface about 1 minute. Shape the dough into a log and cut into 10 even pieces. Working with one piece at a time, form the dough into a ball. Hold it in the palm of your hand, using the heel of your other hand to flatten it. Place about 1/2 tbsp. of Nutella in the middle of the dough, then fold the edges over so the Nutella is completely covered. Pinch the edges together to seal completely, then place seam side down on the prepared baking sheet. Repeat with remaining dough. Cover lightly with a towel, and let rise about 20-30 minutes, until nicely puffed.

Preheat the oven to 400°F. Melt the remaining tbsp. of butter and brush the tops of the buns with it. Sprinkle evenly with the raw sugar. Bake 12-15 minutes or until golden brown. Best served warm.

Recipe adapted from Favorite Brand Name Gifts From the Kitchen

Banana Nutella Bundt Cake

You guys, Mel Brooks is my hero.

If you don't like Mel Brooks, you should know: we can never be friends. That's a deal breaker right there.

If you don't know who Mel Brooks is... you've been living a very sheltered life. Go watch Young Frankenstein. Or Silent Movie. Or Space Balls. Or High Anxiety. Or Robin Hood: Men in Tights (do yourself a favor and watch Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves first. Trust me. It makes Men in Tights 12 times funnier. Plus, despite how terrible Prince of Thieves is, it's worth it just to see Alan Rickman as the Sheriff of Nottingham. He's phenomenal.) Or you can watch the bestie's and mine go-to date night movie: Blazing Saddles.

She's Sheriff Bart, and I'm the Waco Kid.

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See this hand?
Steady as a rock.
Yeah, but this is the hand I shoot with.

Don't get us started quoting. We'll quote the entire movie.

You see, I have very discerning tastes when it comes to comedy. I love funny, but there's actually very little out there that I find funny. Bridesmaids? I was cringing in second hand embarrassment the entire movie. The Hangover movies? I can barely find the comedy in the premise, let alone in 3 different movies. Adam Sandler movies? Yeah, no.

I'm not trying to be snooty or anything. I'm not even saying I need my comedy to be intelligent. My sense of humor is just different, meaning there is a very small window of things I find funny. Mel Brooks movies always fit into that small window.

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Yeah, that scene is never not funny.

And Mel himself, the man is in his eighties, but he's still got that perfect comedic timing. I watch an interview with him and I'm crying I'm laughing so hard (especially if Carl Reiner is there with him). So Hollywood? If you could just get Mel to make some more movies, I'd be a-okay with that. I'll even bribe him with some of this cake, if that would help move things along.

It's very yummy cake, too. It was originally s'mores-inspired (hence the mounds of fluffy, toasted 7-minute frosting on the top), but it doesn't actually taste s'mores-y, and it's better without the frosting. Heh. Still, the frosting is super pretty, right?

But I'm not giving you the recipe for the the frosting. Because making 7-minute frosting is like being in one of those stress positions used in non-verbal interrogations. 7 minutes doesn't sound like long, but it's a long time to use a hand mixer in a circular motion on the top of a double boiler. And sometimes, it can take longer than 7 minutes. Dudes, I was ready to cry by the time the 7 minutes were up. My shoulder's twinging in remembrance as I write this. Take my advice: the frosting is pretty, but not worth it. Because you know what's even prettier than the frosting?

The freaking inside of this cake. Do you see that perfect swirl of chocolatey hazelnutty goodness there? Do you see how perfect that is?

I have absolutely no idea how that happened. My intention was for the chocolate batter to just run through the middle of the bundt. I wanted it to be like a tunnel, but I was expecting it to be more like a layer in the middle. And then I sliced the cake, and I nearly died from how awesome it actually was.

And this cake, it's moist and rich and sweet and flavorful, with that perfect swirl giving you just a touch of chocolate and a hint of hazelnut. This cake is the ultimate banana cake. Even without frosting flavored with my tears.

Banana Nutella Bundt Cake
Yield: 12 servings

Ingredients
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup whole wheat flour
3/4 tsp. salt
3/4 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
1 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
2 medium bananas, mashed
2 eggs
2/3 cup buttermilk
3/4 tsp. vanilla extract
1/4 cup Nutella (chocolate hazelnut spread)
1 tbsp. unsweetened cocoa powder*

Directions
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Generally grease and flour 1 regular bundt pan.

In a large mixing bowl, whisk together the flours, salt, baking soda, and cinnamon. Set aside. Using a stand mixer, beat the butter and sugars at medium speed until fluffy. Add the bananas, eggs, and vanilla, beating well after each addition. Add about half of the flour mixture and beat on low speed until just incorporated. Add the buttermilk and remaining flour, and beat on low until fully incorporated.

Reserve about 1/3 of the batter in a separate bowl. To this, add the Nutella and cocoa powder, and mix well. Spread half of the remaining batter evenly into the prepared bundt pan. Add the Nutella batter, then spread the remaining batter on top. Bake 45-50 minutes until browned and firm to the touch. Allow to cool in the pan about 10-20 minutes before attempting to remove.

*I used Hershey's Special Dark Cocoa Powder

Recipe by Kim

Bananas are Good Frozen Nutella-Covered Bananas

This post is a little bittersweet.

Not the recipe. No, that's all sweet.

Today's the season finale of Doctor Who, which means I'll be switching up the series to once a month. No more Doctor Who Saturdays until June 22nd. *sniffle* As much as I love doing this weekly series (and having a legitimate excuse to go full-fangirl once a week), I can't keep this up until November. Moffat, you really should have worked that timing out better.

I had originally planned to do something elaborate and classic and fun for this little send off, but with the way everything's been going, I only had the stamina left for something simple. And you know what? Sometime's simple's better. Especially since this is a recipe that I know, without a doubt, would be Doctor-approved (well, at least so far as Nine and Ten are concerned. Though I have a sneaking suspicion Eleven would, too.)

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Bananas. Not completely sure why the Doctor loves bananas. Maybe because they're sort of gun shaped, so the Doctor can amuse himself by replacing people's guns with bananas. That's what Nine did to Captain Jack Harkness when they first met, you know. And to be fair, the Doctor also replaced the factory that produced Jack's gun with a banana grove. (He's a bit like MacGyver. He doesn't like guns.) Nine being Nine, he does this with an extra helping of sass, and this was one of the moments that made me fall in love with him.

 

And Ten accidentally invented the banana daiquiri a few centuries early, declaring one of the top Whovian rules: Always bring a banana to a party. Bananas are good.

Eleven's not been as vocal about bananas, but he did pull the gun/banana switch on River.

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Clearly, potassium is essential to a Time Lord's health. And Nutella? Well, that's just universally essential.

Every time I've ever been to a Ren Faire, I've always seen frozen chocolate covered bananas. And with the weather getting warmer, and the banana being one of the Doctor's favorite foods, it seemed appropriate to try it out. But, I didn't really feel like melting chocolate. So I decided on Nutella, because bananas + Nutella= awesome. Then I sprinkled on some TARDIS blue sanding sugar (chopped hazelnuts would also be good) and I stuck it in the freezer. Really, it's so simple, I feel partly ashamed even calling it a recipe.

Then enjoy it in the comforts of your own home or spaceship, or increase the recipe to bring to a party. Because, let's face it. If you show up to a party with a bunch of bananas, you're weird. But if you show up to a party with a bunch of Nutella-covered frozen bananas, you are totally cool.

Frozen Nutella-Covered Bananas
Yield: 4 pops

Ingredients
Heaping 1/3 cup Nutella (chocolate hazelnut spread)
2 tbsp. coconut oil
2 bananas, ripe but firm
Sprinkles or chopped hazelnuts, for garnish

Directions
Heat the Nutella and oil together in the microwave on low power for a few seconds, until runny. Mix well.

Chop the bananas in half and insert lollipop or popsicle sticks. Line a dish or pan with waxed paper. Dip the bananas in the Nutella, roll in sprinkles or nuts, and place on the waxed paper in a single layer. Freeze minimum 2 hours, or until firm. Store in the freezer in an airtight container.

Recipe by Kim

Captain Jack Harkness Brownies

AKA Peanut Butter Nutella Slutty Brownies

It's Doctor Who Saturday! And you know who I'm focusing on this week? Captain Jack Harkness!

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How do I begin to explain Captain Jack Harkness?

Captain Jack Harkness is flawless

I hear his coat is insured for $10,000.

I hear he does sonic screwdriver commercials... on Satellite 5.

His favorite person is Ianto Jones.

One time he danced with Rose Tyler in front of Big Ben, and she thought he was pretty.

One time, he punched Davros in the face... it was awesome.

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Jack is seriously one of my favorite characters from the new series. He first showed up in the two episode arc The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances, which are two absolutely phenomenal episodes with the oft-overlooked 9th doctor (9 so does not get enough love. He was so sassy.) One of my brother's favorite scenes is from these episodes as well:

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But this isn't about 9. This is about Jack. (Focus, fangirl. focus.) See, Jack is...

Well, Jack is...

...

Gosh darn it, I try to keep this thing family friendly. You're not making it easy on me, Jack!

Jack is a time agent turned con artist turned intergalactic hero turned immortal possibly turned giant head in a glass jar. And he's, well... let's just say he's a bit of an equal opportunist.

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Will you judge me if I say I find this oddly comforting?

He's rather a flirt, too. But then, he's got those 51st century pheromones working for him in that department. And those eternally boyish good looks. He's really only got the one line. But trust me, it's a good one. And always seems to work, too.

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When it came time to choose a recipe for Jack, I had a really tough time of it. There's no food that really exemplifies him. You don't really see him eat anything other than pizza and coffee (and I'm not going to try to compete with Ianto's coffee. No sir.)

And then the choice was obvious. Slutty brownies. Because Captain Jack Harkness.

But I wanted to make sure that these were a brownie that could seduce almost anything that crossed its path, like Captain Jack. Adding peanut butter was the obvious choice, because peanut butter and chocolate is a universally acknowledged delicious combination. But that wasn't enough. No, for a Captain Jack Harkness slutty brownie, I had to add something extra, something truly irresistible, something that people might even go to great lengths to steal.

I had to add Nutella.

Oh, and it was perfect. The peanut butter cookie base, the Oreo cookie middle, the brownie top, the peanut butter chips, and that hint of pure chocolate hazelnutty goodness, one bite and you'll be convinced that these brownies are saying, "Hi. Captain Jack Harkness. And you are?"

Now, I did use a mix for the bottom layer, but for the top brownie layer, I used Ben & Jerry's superfudge brownie recipe. This is a super easy and awesome brownie recipe first off. And secondly, I didn't think Jack would mind having Ben and Jerry on top.

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I'd apologize for that, but I'm not sorry. I couldn't write this post without at least one innuendo.

These suckers are immense. The pan of brownies weighed about 20 pounds, and even a small piece is immensely filling and satisfying (and that takes on a whole new meaning in a post about Captain Jack Harkness. Heh. Hi, I'm Kim, and my mind lives in the gutter.) Even my garbage disposal of a brother couldn't finish these quickly. But that's all to the best, because that means you'll have slutty brownies for days to come. Just a little bit of effort, yields a whole lot of reward.

Worth it!

Peanut Butter Nutella Slutty Brownies {Printable Version}
Yield: enough brownies to feed a small nation

Ingredients
1 pkg. peanut butter cookie mix and ingredients called for on package, plus an extra 1-2 tbsp. vegetable oil*
¾-1 cup Nutella (chocolate hazelnut spread)
About 12-15 Oreos (chocolate sandwich cookies)
4 oz. unsweetened chocolate
½ cup unsalted butter
4 eggs
½ tsp. salt
2 cups sugar
1 tsp. vanilla
1 cup all-purpose flour
½ cup peanut butter chips

Directions
Preheat the oven to 350°F. Lightly spray a 9x13 inch baking dish with non-stick cooking spray, and line with parchment paper

Mix the cookie dough according to package directions, adding in the extra vegetable oil (this prevents the cookie dough from drying out and overcooking). Press the dough evenly into the bottom of the prepared pan. Spread the Nutella evenly on top of the dough (warm slightly for easier spreading). Place the Oreos in an even layer on top, with no overlapping.

Melt the chocolate and butter in a small saucepan over medium-low heat. Let cool to room temperature. In a large mixing bowl, beat the eggs and salt until fluffy. Gradually beat in the sugar and vanilla. Fold in the chocolate, then the flour, and peanut butter chips (make sure to fold gently, so the batter stays fluffy). Pour the batter evenly over the Oreos, and smooth the top. Bake 30-40 minutes, until the brownies spring back when gently pressed.

*Feel free to use your favorite peanut butter cookie recipe, just add an extra 1-2 tbsp. vegetable oil.

Brownie recipe from Ben & Jerry’s Homemade Ice Cream & Dessert Book. Inspired by The Londoner

Dooweeooo!

Raspberry Nutella Marshmallows-- A Guest Post at Go Bake Yourself

The Christmas season is a great time for candy. It's not too hot out to be cooking sugar, and candy makes great gifts. It's also a time for the raspberry and chocolate combo. Luckily for you, I put all three together, with a little added hazelnutty goodness. Because it's the holiday season, and I'm nice like that.

Want the recipe? Don't lie to me; I can see you salivating from here. Head on over to Go Bake Yourself and say hi to my Whovian buddy Uru. I'm totally bringing these bad boys with me when we go traveling with the Doctor.

  

Cookies, Screnzy, and the Silver Dragon

Please note that these taste much better than they look.

You might have noticed something new here on Treats & Trinkets. Something that doesn't quite go with the design or color scheme. Something that may not make a whole lot of sense to you. Something on the left side of the page there.

No?

Well, if you have seen it, let me e'splain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up. You see, it's April, and what does that mean?...

Sweet & Salty Nutella Brownies

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Nutella & Oatmeal Cookie-Stuffed Pies

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