April 13, 2013

Captain Jack Harkness Brownies

AKA Peanut Butter Nutella Slutty Brownies

It's Doctor Who Saturday! And you know who I'm focusing on this week? Captain Jack Harkness!
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How do I begin to explain Captain Jack Harkness?

Captain Jack Harkness is flawless

I hear his coat is insured for $10,000.

I hear he does sonic screwdriver commercials... on Satellite 5.

His favorite person is Ianto Jones.

One time he danced with Rose Tyler in front of Big Ben, and she thought he was pretty.

One time, he punched Davros in the face... it was awesome.
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Jack is seriously one of my favorite characters from the new series. He first showed up in the two episode arc The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances, which are two absolutely phenomenal episodes with the oft-overlooked 9th doctor (9 so does not get enough love. He was so sassy.) One of my brother's favorite scenes is from these episodes as well:
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But this isn't about 9. This is about Jack. (Focus, fangirl. focus.) See, Jack is...

Well, Jack is...

...

Gosh darn it, I try to keep this thing family friendly. You're not making it easy on me, Jack!

Jack is a time agent turned con artist turned intergalactic hero turned immortal possibly turned giant head in a glass jar. And he's, well... let's just say he's a bit of an equal opportunist.
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Will you judge me if I say I find this oddly comforting?

He's rather a flirt, too. But then, he's got those 51st century pheromones working for him in that department. And those eternally boyish good looks. He's really only got the one line. But trust me, it's a good one. And always seems to work, too.
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When it came time to choose a recipe for Jack, I had a really tough time of it. There's no food that really exemplifies him. You don't really see him eat anything other than pizza and coffee (and I'm not going to try to compete with Ianto's coffee. No sir.)

And then the choice was obvious. Slutty brownies. Because Captain Jack Harkness.
But I wanted to make sure that these were a brownie that could seduce almost anything that crossed its path, like Captain Jack. Adding peanut butter was the obvious choice, because peanut butter and chocolate is a universally acknowledged delicious combination. But that wasn't enough. No, for a Captain Jack Harkness slutty brownie, I had to add something extra, something truly irresistible, something that people might even go to great lengths to steal.

I had to add Nutella.

Oh, and it was perfect. The peanut butter cookie base, the Oreo cookie middle, the brownie top, the peanut butter chips, and that hint of pure chocolate hazelnutty goodness, one bite and you'll be convinced that these brownies are saying, "Hi. Captain Jack Harkness. And you are?"
Now, I did use a mix for the bottom layer, but for the top brownie layer, I used Ben & Jerry's superfudge brownie recipe. This is a super easy and awesome brownie recipe first off. And secondly, I didn't think Jack would mind having Ben and Jerry on top.
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I'd apologize for that, but I'm not sorry. I couldn't write this post without at least one innuendo.
These suckers are immense. The pan of brownies weighed about 20 pounds, and even a small piece is immensely filling and satisfying (and that takes on a whole new meaning in a post about Captain Jack Harkness. Heh. Hi, I'm Kim, and my mind lives in the gutter.) Even my garbage disposal of a brother couldn't finish these quickly. But that's all to the best, because that means you'll have slutty brownies for days to come. Just a little bit of effort, yields a whole lot of reward.

Worth it!

Peanut Butter Nutella Slutty Brownies {Printable Version}
Yield: enough brownies to feed a small nation

Ingredients
1 pkg. peanut butter cookie mix and ingredients called for on package, plus an extra 1-2 tbsp. vegetable oil*
¾-1 cup Nutella (chocolate hazelnut spread)
About 12-15 Oreos (chocolate sandwich cookies)
4 oz. unsweetened chocolate
½ cup unsalted butter
4 eggs
½ tsp. salt
2 cups sugar
1 tsp. vanilla
1 cup all-purpose flour
½ cup peanut butter chips

Directions
Preheat the oven to 350°F. Lightly spray a 9x13 inch baking dish with non-stick cooking spray, and line with parchment paper

Mix the cookie dough according to package directions, adding in the extra vegetable oil (this prevents the cookie dough from drying out and overcooking). Press the dough evenly into the bottom of the prepared pan. Spread the Nutella evenly on top of the dough (warm slightly for easier spreading). Place the Oreos in an even layer on top, with no overlapping.

Melt the chocolate and butter in a small saucepan over medium-low heat. Let cool to room temperature. In a large mixing bowl, beat the eggs and salt until fluffy. Gradually beat in the sugar and vanilla. Fold in the chocolate, then the flour, and peanut butter chips (make sure to fold gently, so the batter stays fluffy). Pour the batter evenly over the Oreos, and smooth the top. Bake 30-40 minutes, until the brownies spring back when gently pressed.

*Feel free to use your favorite peanut butter cookie recipe, just add an extra 1-2 tbsp. vegetable oil.

Brownie recipe from Ben & Jerry’s Homemade Ice Cream & Dessert Book. Inspired by The Londoner
Dooweeooo!

Comments (22)

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Ahahahhaaaa this post cracked me up. I can tell I would like Captain Jack Harkness and I definitely LOVE these brownies, they have EVERYTHING!
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1 reply · active 630 weeks ago
And Captain Jack Harkness would love you. ;)
#9 was always my personal fav Dr. Sassy, indeed.

and a very slutty brownie as well. An oreo - stuffed in an obsession and slathered with an addiction - a girl after my own eating disorders :)
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1 reply · active 629 weeks ago
You can't go halfway with Captain Jack!
OMG I LOVE JACK!! The 2nd series is the best. You have to watch Torchwood!! These brownieslook delicious the oreos inside are awesome.
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1 reply · active 629 weeks ago
I did watch Torchwood. I loved it. I ship Jack/Ianto so hard.
I don't know much about Captain Jack--I'm ashamed to say, but I don't watch Dr. Who (gasp!)--but I know all about brownies. I know that the sluttier the brownie, the better. Oh, do these look good.
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1 reply · active 629 weeks ago
That's okay Jennie, but if you're ever in the mood for some quirky British sci-fi...
Oh Captain Jack, how I love thee and how I cried when they killed of Ianto. I believe Jack would have loved these brownies. Equal opportunity just like him :-)
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1 reply · active 629 weeks ago
Nope, nope, nope. We do not talk about the events of Children of Earth. Ianto is alive and still making the best coffee in Cardiff. :P
Look at those brownies!
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Cheers! Colette
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1 reply · active 629 weeks ago
Wow, thanks so much
These brownies are just so perfect and totally slutty!
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I love Captain Jack. And the 9th Doctor. Then you add these brownies to the mix. I am swooning on all levels! I think a vegan version is in order, if for no other reason than to impress my husband. I'm pretty sure he has just as big a crush on Jack as I do!
3 replies · active 628 weeks ago
A vegan version would be amazing! I would love to see that.
I made these vegan! They were crazy good. I have a massive sweet tooth, but these were so rich that even I could only eat a small piece at a time. Thanks a million for your recipe. My family very much enjoyed!
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That is awesome! I'd love to try your vegan version
Personally, the 10th doctor was my favorite. But I do enjoy Captain Jack's pansexuality.
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I LOVE this post!! Captain Jack is, quite simply, a raging blizzard of intensely sexy awesomeness. I ADORE him. You found such awesome memes to (ahem) stick in here, and the choice of slutty brownies is just too perfect. Oh, Jack...I'd totally torch his wood, if you know what I mean.

My favorite Jack quote ever: "I had a boyfriend that used to walk into rooms like that. A grand entrance. Got kind of boring. Though he was one of twins so I put up with it. Twin acrobats. Man, I gotta write that book."

P.S. Even though I was eventually won over by David Tennant, Eccleston remains a close second my personal race for Best Doctor. He was...BROODING, in a way his protégés weren't/aren't. <3
1 reply · active 627 weeks ago
This made me giggle so hard. Torch his wood. HA!

As for Nine, I KNOW, RIGHT? I blame my love of the broody on Buffy. So many gorgeous, broody vampires during my impressionable tween years. *le sigh*
My cousin recommended this blog and she was totally right keep up the fantastic work!

I love brownies! :)
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1 reply · active 597 weeks ago
Well, tell your cousin thanks, then! :)

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