April 18, 2014

Stuff and Things 4/18/14

Life as I Know it
Did you guys know I'm really bad at helping with wedding planning? I mostly suggest ways to work storm troopers into the ceremony, and how the ring bearers should be dressed up as little secret service dudes, and that a dalek should be the officiant so he can go "OFFICIATE. OFFICIATE," and how zombies should totally attack mid-ceremony.

...I'm not helpful. I'm just trying to give them the awesomest wedding in the history of awesome, but nooooo.

Did you know the bestie's fiance nixed a video game themed wedding? He writes a video game blog. I was like, I could totally make that elegant. An orchestral version of the Mario theme playing as the wedding party walks down the aisle, some power-up cufflinks, and the centerpieces would be so much fun to design. But nooooo. He doesn't even want a theme. He wants a "wedding themed wedding." I told the bestie she should could totally do some meta-theming with that. She didn't find that helpful.

Other than that, not much to report. Closing date has been moved up a day (for me, anyway. The sellers are still closing on the 30th). The date has been moved around so many times, that my attorney already has that date booked solid. So I'm closing the day before I actually close. It never goes smooth.

I just want it to be over at this point. Honestly, if I could close tomorrow, I would. I just don't like this lingering stuff. Plus, I have to pick out paint colors. Like, that's been eating at me, because I want to paint before I move in. I know the color scheme I want in the kitchen (purple and gray, with brass accents), and the bathroom has blue tile, so I'll probably just paint it white, but the living room feeds into the hallway, which is really long and goes down to the bedroom, so the color in the living room will effect the color of the entire house, and how do people make decisions like this? What color is your living room? How did you decide on that color? How did you not completely stress yourself out picking that color?

No, I am not getting overly crazy about paint colors. I'm normally this way.
Source
This is my color inspiration for the kitchen

I found this on Pinterest, and I can't stop laughing:
Source
Start with Homemade Cake Mix, you must

Also, Peter Capaldi's not even really the doctor yet, and he's already melted my heart. Why is there water on my face it must be raining I'm not crying.

TV
Supernatural- I was SO EXCITED when I saw Gabriel was back,and then it wasn't Gabriel, and NOW I REALLY WANT GABRIEL BACK WHY DID THEY DO THIS TO ME I WAS FINE BEFORE.

(Funny story, I watched this ep. with my mom, and I was explaining who Gadreel was, and then I said, "Well, he's not technically evil, he's just really super gullible," and that was right when he walked into the Winchesters' trap)

But I think I kind of hate Metatron more than any other baddie on the show. Dick Roman killed Bobby, and I still hate Metatron more. I don't know why. I just do. Maybe it's because he burned a book. That makes me angry.

Also, Mark of Cain. Not loving this. What's it doing to my Dean? (Also Cas, srsly, you are not married Dean. And stop doing exactly what Metatron told you he wanted you to do. You should not do what the psychopath told you to do.)

Arrow- First of all, Ollie, you need to go to Star Labs and get that gun that the lab techs used against Slade. Because, dude it totally worked really well.

Second of all, Thea, I know it sucks that your dad wasn't your biological dad, and that your mom and your brother kept it from you, and your boyfriend broke up with you for no reason you can see. You've had a sh***y couple of days, I get it, I do, but trust me, you don't want to go from billionaire to broke, so just sign the papers, okay? Pretty please?

Thirdly, Starling City doctors apparently don't believe in doctor-patient confidentiality. When a patient's sister comes to see her in the hospital, it's fine to tell her about the current injuries, especially since they're minor, but don't follow that up with, "Oh that's nothing compared to her old injuries." WTF. And Laurel, if you haven't figured out that Black Canary is Sarah yet, especially now that you know Ollie is the Arrow, and that crappy doctor told you all about her old injuries, you are too dumb to live.

Fourth, SUMMER GLAU HAS BEEN DOSED WITH THE MIRAKURU. EVERYBODY RUNNNNN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVESSSSSSS!

Posts from this week

April 16, 2014

Homemade Strawberry Cake Mix


Warning: This post contains words that are not actually bad, but that you might not enjoy explaining to your kidlets. Continue at your own peril. I don't have a choice; this is my life
Did you guys know that I apparently have a really sexy phone voice? I always thought I sounded like a small child, but apparently that's not the case. Practically the first time G and I met, she informed me I had a "porn" voice. Just recently, an exec she's friends with was in her office when I called him to tell him his visitors were in the lobby. He hung up with me, turned to G and said, "You know, she could make a lot of money as one of those phone sex operators."

I told G she should ask him what his basis for comparison was.

But these are both people I know and work with and attempt to embarrass me on a regular basis. I take what they say with a grain of salt, you know? It's the random strangers that have finally convinced me. This one time, I had a guy call in to ask for the company's website (because he didn't know how to Google?), and he told me I had a "pleasant accent" and then lingered on the phone telling me all about his exciting job as a Macy's buyer in upstate New York, then followed that up with, "Are you about medium height? 5'3", 5'4"?"

W.T.F. Also, no. (He even tried calling back, but the phone was really busy at the time, and I had an excuse to keep him on hold until he hung up)

And the other day, I had this caller that I was getting annoyed with, because he would not accept the fact that the person he was looking for was not listed. He asked for my name, and I thought he was going to ask to speak to my manager (they do that sometimes, because I'm obviously lying to them for my own nefarious purposes), and said, "Kim, your voice is so sweet."

Umm, thanks?

He then asked for my cell phone number. I tried to let him down gently, I did, but he kept pushing, telling me how "sweet" my voice was, and about how he's an account manager, "Your voice is just so sweet, I would really like your cell phone number, please, or your email address."

I finally told him that I had a call on the other line and I had to go (lie, but if Bossman has a problem with that, he can deal with it), and the guy laughed and started to say something else, and I just hung up. SO CREEPY.

PRO-TIP: Trying to pick up the phone operator makes you seem kind of pervy.
What does this have to do with cake mix? Absolutely nothing. I just thought you'd be amused.

Anyway, strawberry cake mix: whaaaaaaaaaaat. I think I've outdone myself this time.

This cake mix utilizes powdered strawberries. Not strawberry flavored powder. Not strawberry drink mix. Real, actual, organic strawberries that were freeze-dried, and then ground up. Now this is a real specialty item, but you can totally make it yourself using this tutorial from the Cupcake Project, or this method from I Run For Wine. I haven't tried either since stores near me don't really carry that much in the way of dried fruit, and leaving the oven on overnight to dry my own kind of freaks me out, but you've got options if you can't find the powder.

I, on the other hand, have a homemade mix obsession, and therefore if I see a powdered ingredient, I snatch it up, no questions asked.
Now, don't go thinking this mix is going to be like Duncan Hines or Betty Crocker strawberry cake mix. It neither tastes not looks the same (I did add a little powdered red food coloring that I had leftover from the Red Velvet Cake Mixes, but you can see that it still leans more towards brown than the hot pink of the boxed mixes). This is a strawberry-flavored buttermilk cake, moist and light, and not too sweet. I adapted it from my Strawberry Cupcakes to make it a little more mix friendly, and it's good.

The strawberry flavor isn't huge, but you can't miss it, and it's a lot deeper and more real than from the boxed mixes. If you want a real strawberry punch, I'd suggest mixing in about a cup of diced fresh strawberries.
Strawberry Cake Mix
Yield: Approx. 6 cups dry mix

Ingredients
2½ cups flour
2 cups sugar
⅓ cup powdered strawberries
2½ tbsp. dry buttermilk powder
1 tsp. red food coloring powder (optional)
¾ tsp. baking soda
½ tsp. salt
1 cup butter-flavored shortening*

Directions
In a large mixing bowl, whisk together all ingredients except the shortening. Using a pastry cutter (or pulse in a food processor) cut in the shortening until the mixture looks like coarse crumbs. Store in an airtight container in a cool, dry place up to 3 months. (To extend the shelf life, store in the refrigerator or freezer).

To bake: Combine the mix with 1⅓ cups water, 2 eggs, and ½ tsp. vanilla extract. Bake at 350 degrees F 20 minutes for cupcakes, 30 minutes for 2 9-inch round cakes. Cake is done when a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean. Cool completely before frosting and serving.

*If you'd prefer, cold butter can be used in place of shortening. Just store the mix in the freezer.

Recipe by Kim