April 26, 2015

PizzAvengers Assemble!

This is one of those posts that you only get because of the unique way my brain works.

It started out simply enough. I was looking up Iron Man cupcakes on Pinterest (for completely non-blog related reasons. Sometimes you just wanna look at superhero cupcakes, y'know?) and I stumbled across an Iron Man pizza. I thought that was a really cute idea. And then I thought, I wonder why I've never seen a Black Widow pizza. That would be super easy. And then my brain thought about doing a Captain America fruit pizza, and it just kind of snowballed from there.

Plus, with Avengers: Age of Ultron coming out in LESS THAN A WEEK OMG I AM SO EXCITE, it seemed like the perfect time to let Mr. Brain go wild and create the PizzAvengers: Earth's Mightiest Pizzas. (Those of you that live places with an earlier Avengers release, no spoilers, please!)

I stuck with the core 6 Avengers from the first movie because it just worked out better that way. 6 pizzas is already more than enough for just me, and I wouldn't have the slightest idea of what to put on a Scarlet Witch or Quicksilver pizza.

All of the pizzas (except Cap. He's special) start off the same way. I used pre-baked crusts to save some time (you can usually find them in the refrigerated section of the grocery store near the cheese), a simple tomato sauce and shredded mozzarella. You can go with any sauce/cheese combo you like-- the Thor pizza would be really good as a barbecue pizza-- just make sure the cheese is white or lightly colored to give you a plain backdrop.

Because I'm cooking for just me, I decided to make three of the pizzas mini. You can totally make them full size, this is not a comment on their importance as Avengers, they just had the easiest designs to scale down and gave me less to fit in the fridge.
I started out with the Black Widow pizza because she really did have one of the easiest designs to put on a pizza. Take some pepperoni and cut it in half. Outline an hourglass shape using the cut side of the pepperoni to give you straight lines. Fill in. You're done.
Simple and elegant. Just like Natasha. But the pizza is far less lethal.

Hawkeye's pizza may look simple, but it took me forever to figure out. Hawkeye's costume is purple, which means that purple is usually used to represent him, and I couldn't figure out anything purple to put on a pizza. I briefly thought about skipping him, when I remembered about Pizza Dog, and when a character has a Pizza Dog, you can't not make him a pizza. (Lucky, aka Pizza Dog is from the comics, but I'm totally hoping he shows up in the MCU soon)(Lucky is called Pizza Dog because Clint gave him pizza and called him Pizza Dog. It's that simple)

Finally, I remembered that red cabbage is purpley. I chopped it and gave it a quick saute in a hot skillet-- not long enough to make it soft, I just wanted to jumpstart the cooking process since it didn't get very long in the oven-- and used it to make a bullseye pattern.
I feel like Clint would be very torn about whether to shoot at it or eat it.

The Hulk pizza is the one I'm least happy about because he kind of just ended up looking like generic green monster. But I didn't know of anything else that seemed appropriately Hulk-y, so that's what I went with. Plus he's kind of cute.

So what you need are some chopped green peppers and olives, and some extra mozzarella for eyes and teeth. I found it easiest to start by outlining his mouth with the chopped olives. Fill it in with more olives, then add some little pieces of mozz for his teeth. Fill out the shape of his face with green peppers and cut out some eyes out of more mozz. Make the eyes kind of slanty and angry looking, but don't worry if the shape's not perfect since it will melt in the oven. Add tiny pieces of olives for the pupils.

Once you're satisfied with the size and shape of the head, outline it with more chopped olives. Use larger olive pieces for his hair and nose.

I totally meant to add some angry slanty eyebrows and some red onion (cause the Hulk is always wearing purple pants), but since it was one of the mini pizzas, I didn't have room.

For Iron Man, you need pepperoni, cheddar cheese, and some more chopped olives, plus some mozzarella to make the eye slits. Start with outlining the Iron Man helmet shape with pepperoni. Tony has a big head, so don't be afraid to use most of the pizza. Then you need to shape the face plate. I found it easiest to create the shape with the cheddar, then I used the halved pepperoni I had left over from the Black Widow pizza to give it a more defined outline. Place vaguely rectangular pieces of mozz for the eye slits (again, don't worry about getting the shape perfect), then use the olive to add some of the ridges and details in the mask.
Tony probably thinks ALL pizza should have his face on it.

Thor's pizza I almost forgot about because I was so worried about what to do for Hawkeye's pizza, but it actually ended up being one of my favorites. What you're going to need is shredded cheddar cheese, chopped olives, plain shredded chicken, and cooked, crumbled sausage.

Start by using the cheddar to draw a lightning bolt on the pizza, slightly off center, and then learn from my mistake and outline it with more chopped olives (the lightning bolt got a little lost after baking). Use the chopped olives to outline Mjolnir (rectangular head, long handle). Fill the head with shredded chicken and the handle with the sausage crumbles.
This last step is purely optional, but I put pepperoni around the outer edge of the pizza. I had so much pepperoni left since I bought a 16 oz. bag, and it's the color of his cloak, so I could get away with it. Plus it tickled me to make Thor's pizza a kind of meat lover's pizza. I can just imagine him being all YES MORTAL, I TOO AM A LOVER OF MEAT. LET US FEAST ON THIS STRANGE, FLAT PIE YOU CALL 'PIZZA.'

One last look before they go into the oven. Bake according to the directions for whatever crust recipe you're using. The pre-baked ones I used suggested baking at 450 (F) about 8 minutes for the mini pies and 10 minutes for the large.

While your pies are baking, you can work on Cap's fruit pizza. Since this is a dessert pizza, the crust is a giant cookie. I used sugar cookie dough. Any roll out recipe would probably be best (I can recommend these from LilaLoa). I actually just bought a thing of slice and bake dough from the store since roll out dough and I aren't friends. Spread your dough into a pizza pan (I used a foil one) and bake at 350 (F) until it's a light golden brown. I baked mine about 16 minutes, but keep your eye on it. Let it cool completely. I actually baked mine before I started assembling the pizzas, so it could cool while I was working on them.
Most fruit pizzas I've seen use cream cheese frosting as a base, to which I say ick. We've been over my feelings about sweetened cream cheese before, but honestly, when you're putting all of this fresh fruit on a dessert, why would you use anything except fresh whipped cream? Seriously.

So for this fruit pizza, we're using whipped cream (about 1 1/2 cups after whipping), halved strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, sliced bananas (2 were more than enough for me), and mini marshmallows. Start by spreading your whipped cream evenly on your cookie base. Then work from the outside in on the design: start with a ring of strawberries around the outer edge of the cookie, then do a ring of sliced bananas. My bananas were small, so I doubled them up. If you're worried about browning, you can skip them or use large marshmallows in their place. I made a quick glaze out of apricot jelly, and they only looked slightly brown the next day

Inside the bananas, do a ring of raspberries (I meant to do a double ring, but I made the banana layer too wide, so there wasn't room). In the middle, use the mini marshmallows to make a star, then fill in the rest with blueberries. Use more raspberries to fill in any spaces between the strawberries.
It won't stop bullets, but it's perfect for any 4th of July barbecues

I kind of totally love how they all turned out. Especially when they're all together, you can totally tell who they're supposed to represent.
Black Widow's is my favorite. It's just so simple and clean and immediately recognizable. Plus it was the easiest to make. Bonus.
If the lightning had come out better, though, I think Thor's would beat Black Widow. I love the design of it (is that narcissistic to say when you designed it? Maybe I shouldn't have had Iron Man pizza for lunch), and I love thinking about how much he would enjoy it, that great big Norse labradoodle that he is.
I put the most thought into Hawkeye's, but unfortunately, I don't think most people would get it presented on its own. It fits right in with the other PizzAvengers, though.
In my head, the Avengers have 4th of July picnics together and Tony always makes sure they have a dessert like this. Steve stopped being embarrassed when he tasted it.
Billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. Pizza.
Hulk was my one disappointment, since he looks too generic, but like Hawkeye, when he's around the other PizzAvengers, you know immediately know who he is.
My Age of Ultron excitement level is officially 6 pizzas high. How about you?