Puff Pastry Sand-Witches

When my friend invited me to a Halloween party in her new apartment, I told her I'd bring some real food. Like, actual non-dessert type food. I figured she'd need that more than the cupcakes that I will likely still bring with me, since Halloween is the holiday of pure sugar. The only problem is, I wanted to do something themed, and there's not nearly as many savory Halloween recipes as there are sweet. So for once in my life, I decided to go simple. I took some Halloween cookie cutters and made some easy puff pastry sandwiches.

Except, since it's for Halloween, I decided to call them "Sand-Witches," and I can't type the word sand-witch without thinking of this scene in Dreamfall Chapters:

It's one of my favorite scenes too. I'm now mad I didn't think to cosplay as the Sand-witcher for NYCC.

I also had to laugh because when I realized that I had a Halloween cat cookie cutter, all I could think of was this:

Kitten carpaccio.

...

I thought it was funny.

I realize that none of you will get this reference because none of you are playing Dreamfall Chapters, but it was impossible for me not to make the reference. Like, it would have caused me physical pain to not tell you about the Sand-witcher. Moral of the story: everyone should be playing Dreamfall Chapters. So go do that. (It's written by a guy who is basically the Norwegian Joss Whedon. If that's not reason enough to play, I don't know what is)

Kian's adventures in food aside, my sand-witches are super simple, and don't even include any cured Elgwan, mostly because that's impossible to find here in Stark. (Stark is our world, the world of technology. Arcadia is the world of magic. Which you would know if you played the game)

All you need are five ingredients, one of which is totally optional: puff pastry, cold cuts (I used ham), sliced cheese (I used American), honey mustard (you can use any sandwich spread you like, or skip and serve with condiments on the side), and an egg wash to make everything all golden brown and pretty.

Use some Halloween cookie cutters to cut the puff pastry into season appropriate shapes. Add some cheese. Spread the honey mustard on top of the cheese (to prevent soggy pastry). Add some ham. Place another piece of puff pastry on top, pinch the edges closed. Brush with egg wash and bake.

I also scored the pastry or cut some holes for it to vent. Where I could, like this haunted house cutter, I tried to make the holes decorative.

Pumpkins obviously became jack-o-lanterns.

These are quick and easy appetizers you can make last minute for a Halloween party, but it's also a great make-ahead recipe. They can be served warm or at room temperature, can be adapted for any preference, and are something even the kiddos can help make. I think it's a win-win.

Puff Pastry Sand-Witches

Yield: Approx. 6-8 sandwiches, depending on the size of your cutters

Ingredients

1 pkg. puff pastry

6-8 slices of cheese (I used American)

Honey mustard (optional)

6-8 slices of ham (or your favorite cold cuts)

1 egg, beaten

Directions

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Use Halloween cookie cutters to cut the puff pastry, cheese, and ham into shapes-- you need two pieces of pastry, one slice of cheese, and one slice of ham per sandwich.

Assemble the sandwiches: start with the first piece of pastry, place a slice of cheese on top. Spread a thin layer of honey mustard on top of the cheese, if using (this will help prevent sogginess if making ahead). Add a slice of ham, and top with the second piece of pastry. Pinch the edges of the pastry together to seal in the filling. Use a sharp knife to score the top, and brush with the beaten egg. Bake on a cookie sheet for 15 minutes, or until puffed and golden. Serve warm or room temperature.

Tip: Flatten the pastry slightly before assembling the sandwiches, so it will be easier to pinch the edges closed. If making ahead, keep refrigerated in an airtight container, and put the sandwiches back in the oven for a few minutes before serving.

Recipe by Kim

And once last word from the Sand-witcher:

Spinach and Artichoke Bites

Did you guys know that it's Camp NaNoWriMo time? Because it is. And I always forget about April sessions, because April was always Script Frenzy month, except now Screnzy has been absorbed into Camp NaNo.

Have I lost you yet? I'm sorry. I forget sometimes that not everyone is fluent in WriMo-ese.

Anyway, April came before I remembered to have a "I don't have a plot" freak out, which ended up being a good thing, since I only had one plot idea rattling around inside my head. And that was originally meant to be the plot to a video game, but since I have no idea how to develop a video game, it's now been turned into interactive fiction. (Think Choose Your Own Adventure novels meet text based gaming. A great example are Choice of Games)

A while back, this idea for a game hit me, out of the blue, sort of a dystopian twist on the stereotypical dating sim. I actually love dating sims (also known as otome games or visual novels)(It's one of the few ways I'm totally girly. When I'm not summoning eidolons or restoring the Balance, obvi), but the biggest problem is that the grand majority of them follow the exact same format. I wanted to put my own twist on it and actually use the generic format to my advantage.

If I finish, you guys will totally play it, right?

If you're in the middle of writing an interactive fiction novel and still need to make an appetizer, these Spinach and Artichoke Bites are so quick and easy that you won't have to spend too much time away from your keyboard.

I am the segue master!

Seriously though, these bites were a last minute thing I decided to make for Easter since I had an extra sheet of puff pastry in the freezer from making my Mac 'n Cheese Pie, and an extra block of cream cheese from making my brother's Cheesecake Stuffed Portal Cake, and since my parents were having people over, I decided to put them together with spinach and artichokes to make a fancy appetizer.

And I guess they really were super fancy, because my aunt thought they were the frozen appetizers you get from the store. Then she ate one and was surprised at how good they were.

Everybody was all, "Kim made these?" and they were impressed and that confused me. I tried to explain that it was a simple matter of putting spinach and artichoke dip into puff pastry and baking it. I guess if you're not the type of person that has random sheets of puff pastry lying around, these just seem a lot more labor intensive than they are.

Trust me though, these are beyond easy to make. The filling takes little more than a bowl and a spoon to bring together. Then you cut the puff pastry into squares and put it in a mini muffin tin. Put a spoonful of filling into the pastry and bake. That's it.

Added bonus, these are perfect make ahead appetizers. I made them the day before, brought them over in a foil pan, and my dad stuck them in the oven alongside the ham for 10 minutes. Easy peasy.

Spinach and Artichoke Bites

Yield: 32 bites

Ingredients

1 (8 oz.) pkg. cream cheese, softened

1/3 cup mayo

1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese

1 (14 oz.) can artichoke hearts, drained and chopped

1 cup frozen chopped spinach, thawed and drained

2 cloves garlic, minced

Salt and pepper, to taste

1 package (2 sheets) puff pastry, thawed according to package directions

Directions

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees F.

In a large bowl, mix the cream cheese and mayo together until smooth. Add the cheese, artichokes, spinach, and garlic, and mix until well incorporated. Season as desired with salt and pepper.

Spray a mini muffin tin with non stick cooking spray. Cut the puff pastry into even squares (16 per sheet) and press the squares into the muffin tin. Fill with the spinach artichoke mixture and bake 10-15 minutes until the edges start to turn golden brown. Allow to cool slightly before serving.

Recipe adapted slightly from Park House Love

Things you may need:

So, you probably don't need No Plot? No Problem!, but if my various, effusive ramblings about NaNoWriMo have ever interested you, I totally recommend it. It was written by NaNo founder Chris Baty, who is funny and cool and awesome and signed my copy. :P

*Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links*

Mac 'n Cheese Pie with Bacon Lattice for the Ultimate Pi Day

Do you guys know what today is? It's Pi Day! But it's not just any old Pi Day, it's the Ultimate Pi Day! *voice echo**explosion sounds**special effects*

As you may know, Pi Day is March 14th every year because 3/14 = 3.14, the first three digits of pi. This year, however, the date is 3/14/15, and 3.1415 are the first 5 digits of pi. Not only that, but at 9:26:53 AM, we're at 3.141592653, a full 10 digits of pi. This is the only time this will occur in our lifetimes, you guys, and I think that's pretty darn cool.

Does that make me a huge nerd?

Fun fact: even though I'm actually pretty good at math, I was really bad at geometry. I took it freshman year of high school, at a time when I was flirting with the idea of going into architecture. After taking geometry, I knew architecture was a bad choice for me. If you can't calculate shapes and angles, you shouldn't be building things. Statistics is more my speed. I killed at statistics.

Now, I knew I had to do something epic to celebrate the Ultimate Pi Day. Since Pi Day is traditionally celebrated with pie for obvious reasons, that was the way to go. But me and pie, we're not the best of buds. I don't really make it that often, and I wouldn't really know how to go epic, you know? So I did some interwebz research and found a bacon topped macaroni and cheese pie on Buzzfeed. That sounded pretty epic, and also pretty easy.

Now, since I'm me and I don't follow recipes, I sort of went my own way. But in this case, "going my own way" actually meant using a couple of short cuts. You may recall that I have a block against pastry crusts. I can't make them. It never works. So, I bought some frozen puff pastry to use as a crust. I also, and I'm ashamed to admit it, bought the cheese sauce from the grocery store. That's not a thing I ever thought I would say, but I didn't really feel up to making my favorite mac 'n cheese sauce, even if it would have tasted better.

I also cooked the pasta in my rice cooker, but that's not a thing you have to do. I've just been cooking everything in my rice cooker lately because it's kind of awesome, and it was so much easier to use it than to boil the pasta on the stove. (Side note: I love my rice cooker. It has a steamer tray so I can cook meat and veggies with my rice. Full meal, no added effort, what's not to love?)

I added some spinach to the pasta because... I couldn't bring myself not to add a little green. It in no way balances out the complete unhealthiness of the pie, but at least you get something good with it. You could also add some broccoli or zucchini, or skip the green stuff all together. I won't tell.

Assembling the pie couldn't be easier. Just press the puff pastry into a pie plate. Mix together the pasta, sauce, some shredded cheese, onion, and cooked spinach and put it all in the pie plate. Take 8 strips of bacon and lay it on top, basket weave style. I folded the edges of the pastry over the ends of the bacon to prevent any grease from dripping into the oven, then I baked it up.

How does it taste? It's macaroni and cheese with bacon in puff pastry. You really can't go wrong here. It it the absolute ultimate in comfort food. The cheesy pasta, the buttery pastry, the salty bacon, so many carbs it puts you in a coma, but the good kind.

One thing is that it kind of falls apart when it's warm, so you'll want to let it cool completely before slicing. I thought about putting an egg in as a binder, but I totally forgot to buy eggs when I was at the store, so I don't know if that would make much of a difference. You can warm up the individual slices to serve, or you could just eat it cold. I actually really like it cold. I know, I'm weird.

As a bonus, I remembered that I had a pi silicone ice cube tray, but since I wasn't making a dessert and couldn't really use chocolate, I was stumped as to how I could use it. I thought maybe I could pour some melted butter in the molds, but a random pat of butter on top of the pie seemed weird. Then I thought about using some of the cheese sauce and freezing it, but I wasn't sure how well that would work. Then I thought, why not just melt some cheddar and try that? And it worked perfectly.

All you do is heat the cheese in the microwave for 20-30 seconds, until it's melted. Then you just pinch off a bit and press it into the mold. Chill the refrigerator until set (between 30-60 minutes), then pop it straight out. I greased the mold first, but since the melted cheddar was pretty greasy itself, I don't know how necessary that really is. I'll just have to try it again (buy ALL the ice cube trays!).

And that's all there is to making an epic pie for an epic Pi Day. Nerd food at its finest.

Mac 'n Cheese Pie
Yield: 1 9inch pie (6-8 servings)

Ingredients
1 sheet puff pastry, thawed
8 oz. elbow macaroni
2 cups packed fresh spinach
1¼ cups cheese sauce
1 heaping cup shredded cheddar cheese
¼ cup diced red onion*
8 slices of bacon

Directions
Preheat the oven to 425 degrees F. Press the puff pastry into a 9 inch pie plate and trim off the excess. Prick the pastry a few times along the bottom with a fork.

Cook the pasta according to the package directions, for 1-2 minutes less than recommended. Drain and return to the pot. Stir in the cheese sauce and spinach. Heat on low while stirring, until the spinach is wilted. Remove from heat and stir in the shredded cheese and diced onion.

Spread the pasta evenly into the prepared pastry. Place the bacon on top (4 strips vertically, 4 strips horizontally) and weave in a basket weave pattern (1 over, 1 under). Tuck the ends of the bacon into the pie. Fold up the edges of the pastry over the bacon to prevent grease runoff.

Bake for 15-25 minutes, until the bacon is cooked through and the pastry is golden brown (tent the edges with foil if it starts to brown too quickly). Allow to cool before slicing.

*If using a cheese sauce that already has onion, feel free to skip

Recipe inspired by Buzzfeed

Things you may need (affiliate links):

Southwestern-Style Chicken and Sausage Pies

Contrary to what this blog may have led you to believe, I do cook. Like real food. Actual food. It's just most of the time when I cook, I make it up as I go along. You've heard this song before, right? With cooking, you don't have to be as precise as with baking. You can do a pinch here, a dollop there, season to taste, that sort of thing. That's why I never have recipes for what I cook. I really never call it cooking, I say I made up food. Or, more recently, I just call it "up food." Why "up food," you ask? Well, one day when I made dinner, I had a conversation with my father that went something like this:

Dad: What's for dinner?
Me: I dunno. I made up food.
Dad: What's up food?

Yeah, he was completely serious, too.

So anyway, I had this craving for meat pies in puff pastry the other day. I decided that it should be chicken and sausage, and have onions and tomatoes, and be a little bit spicy. So I stopped at the grocery store, bought the ingredients, and made up food.