Homemade Mayonnaise

So apparently, when I have free time, all of my knowledge of cooking and baking just flies out the window. It's like my brain took some time off, too. Everything that I have cooked or baked this week so far has been a fail. Not an epic fail, mind you-- it's all still been edible, and in some cases, quite tasty-- but just enough to rankle my inner perfectionist.

First was the Irish soda bread. The recipe there was all wonkified, as the batter was way too wet.

Second was the pasta salad. Still good to eat, however I tried that thing where you add the food coloring to the water to dye the pasta, and it just turned this sad sort of gray color. Sad little gray bowtie pasta. Because bowties are cool. Even gray ones.

Third were the petit fours. Now, there were a couple of indicators that these weren't going to turn out, but the kicker was when the liquid fondant wouldn't cover them and I ended up burning my fingers instead of having cute little tea cakes.

Fourth was the meringue pie. I screwed up the crust so it fell apart, and the custard filling was too gooey. It tasted really good, but you have to eat it with a spoon.

This was all in a time span of two days, people.

So while I was going to hold off giving you this recipe until I had perfected it a little bit more, I figured I should really take a break before I end up blowing up the house or something.

Homemade mayonnaise is surprisingly simple to make, and uses ingredients you probably already have in the kitchen. It's basically just an emulsion of egg and oil. With some seasonings to make it taste good. Honestly, the hardest part of the process is adding the oil slowly enough that the mayo properly emulsifies. The whole process takes about 10 minutes, tops. Then it's got to chill a bit in the fridge, but if you're making dressing (which I was. For the grayish pasta salad.) you can skip that step since you're going to thin it out anyway.

Seriously, make your own mayo. Flavor it however you like. Even I was able to do it, and I'm apparently doomed to recipe fails this week. You just want to make sure to use the freshest eggs possible, don't use olive oil (too heavy), and grab some tune-age to pass the time while drizzling the oil. You'll need it.


Homemade Mayonnaise {Printable Version}
Yield: Approx. 8 oz.

Ingredients
1 fresh egg, at room temperature
2 tsp. apple cider vinegar
2 tsp. lemon juice
1 tsp. mustard
½ tsp. salt
½ tsp. garlic powder
Large pinch of sugar
1 cup vegetable oil

Directions
In a food processor, or in a mixing bowl with electric beaters, add the egg and beat on medium speed until pale yellow and foamy. Add the vinegar, lemon juice, mustard, salt, garlic powder, and sugar, and continue to mix until well blended. With the mixer or food processor on medium-high speed, slowly begin to drip in the oil. Once about ¼ cup of the oil has been added, reduce speed and add the remaining oil in a thin, steady stream. Add any further seasonings to taste. Place in an airtight container, and refrigerate 1-2 hours until thickened. Store in the refrigerator up to 1 week.

Tip: Because the egg is uncooked, the use of pasteurized eggs is recommended. The egg must be room temperature, and the oil must be added excruciatingly slowly, otherwise the mayo will not properly emulsify. The use of earbuds is recommended to help pass the time during this step.

Recipe adapted from various internet sources